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 The Venom Enforcer

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CMVenomSES
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PostSubject: The Venom Enforcer   Mon Sep 09, 2013 5:41 pm

After not being able to get a team for the PrimeTime Sim League, CMVenomSES has come under scrutiny with a lot of his former players and coaches, here is what they have to say:

"Damn, nigga, he needs to hurry the fuck up and put in some god damn work, I aint tryna work at Wal-Mart trying to pay my child support and my credit card bills for all that jewelry I bought. Shit, Dylan better get his ass in check and get him a team so that we can run this just like we did in Green Bay, stupid ass lazy brokeback mountain fuck nigga." ~ Allen Iverson, former NBA All-Star and former coach of the Green Bay Packers.



"He a little bitch, I'd fuck his ass up, always talking about how Tupac coming back in 2014. SHUT THE FUCK UP BITCH. But GOD DAMN, he had a sexy ass fucking girl in Sierra. I still think about that bitch when I masturbate in the bath tub." ~ Brian Scalabrine, former NBA bench warmer and former assistant coach of the Green Bay Packers.

"My dawg DB3 needa get back to bidness, my nigga was a hella good owner in Green Bay, always bringing in some bad bitches to fuck after practice, afterparties, and he brought in some damn good coaches too. Shit, me and him was gonna make a collab song to with A.I. and Nelly, but the shit never happened." ~ DMX, former #1 selling rapper and former Defensive End of the Green Bay Packers.

"I ain't mad at Dylan for not getting a team for the league. He's got more things to focus on in his life than waste 5-6-7 hours of his day working on some Madden. I mean the nigga still gotta go to school and get an education right?" ~ Nelly, rapper and former Assistant Coach of the Green  Bay Packers.

"Shit, I'd love to play under Dylan again, because that dude was cool as fuck, but I mean he was fucking gay as hell, always talking about sucking dick. JUST KIDDING. But damn, me and him, sometimes GREG JONES (FB of Jaguars, Packers, and now Texans) would always going around fucking bad bitches until the slut of his Sierra came into the fucking picture. I don't even know how he worked with that ass, that shit INDENTED. You hit that shit and you have to go to the E.R room with broken bones all up your hand and arm. But if he was here, you already know my goal would be to be the #1 QB of the LG and to take a team to Super Bowl and win it all." ~ Tyler Thigpen, former Pro Bowl Quarterback of the Green Bay Packers.

"I don't know. But we used to fuck all the time during games.. But I got upset with him earlier this year... BECAUSE HE FUCKING MOVED OUT OF THE FUCKING STATE LIKE A FUCKING BITCH ASS NIGGA. I'm sorry, but I really really want to get back with Dylan because he is so amazing... So fucking amazing. He was my first..." ~ Sierra, some skank ass ho Dylan used to date who ended up bitchslapping him after he moved back to his old town and went completely psycho and randomly started hitting on me a week ago.

"Man, I miss playing for Green Bay, they were the only team that accepted me for being a homosexual. I also missing being in the showers with all the guys, seeing their huge floppy man dicks flopping around in the showers, oh my God, that got me off every time. I wish my boyfriend Ryan Seacrest had a dick like that, else sex would be good every night." ~ Trevor Scott, homosexual and former Defensive End for the Oakland Raiders and Green Bay Packers.

Best Fucking Quarterback Ever: (Tyler Thigpen)


AND HE GET BAD BITCHES:
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CrownRoyal12
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PostSubject: Re: The Venom Enforcer   Mon Sep 09, 2013 5:50 pm

you still post these weird things bout A.I. & Tyler Thigpen!?...i was hoping u were done with that lol
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CMVenomSES
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PostSubject: Re: The Venom Enforcer   Mon Sep 09, 2013 5:52 pm

DON'T FORGET SIERRA.

...fuckin' love that bitch.
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PRE_-CISION-_
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PostSubject: Re: The Venom Enforcer   Mon Sep 09, 2013 7:44 pm


____________________
Rams:
Season 1: 0-0

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CMVenomSES
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PostSubject: Re: The Venom Enforcer   Mon Sep 09, 2013 7:50 pm

PRE_-CISION-_ wrote:

I've used that pic before for one of my stories, lmao.

http://globalballers.forumotion.com/t1026-tyler-thigpen-looks-for-a-new-date
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LAC_Huckabey_25
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PostSubject: Re: The Venom Enforcer   Mon Sep 09, 2013 9:18 pm

LOL Allen Iverson Dylan might get a job back for you
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CMVenomSES
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PostSubject: Re: The Venom Enforcer   Tue Sep 10, 2013 2:24 pm

Although CMVenomSES hasn't received a team yet, he has listed his coaching staff in the full:

Head Head Coach - CMVenomSES
Head Head Coach's Bitch - Sierra
Head Coach - Allen Iverson
Offensive Coordinator - Manu Ginobili
Defensive Coordinator - Nelly
Quarterbacks Coach - Kevin O'Connell
Running Backs Coach - Priest Holmes
Fullbacks Coach - FRANK SUMMERS
Recievers Coach - Chad Johnson
Tight Ends Coach - Arianna Grande
Offensive Line Coach - The Big Show
Defensive Line Coach - Kris Jenkins
Linebackers Coach - Brian Urlacher
Cornerbacks Coach - Chief Keef
Safety Coach - Rodney Harrison
Kickers Coach - Tracy McGrady
Return Coach - Dante Hall
Waterboy - Brian Scalabrine
Towelboy - Chunky Atkins
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CrownRoyal12
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PostSubject: Re: The Venom Enforcer   Tue Sep 10, 2013 3:06 pm

nah man ur to late i already got brian scalabrine as towelboy since adam sandler is my waterboy
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CMVenomSES
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PostSubject: Re: The Venom Enforcer   Tue Sep 10, 2013 9:09 pm

The wait is OVER!


After waiting for a few days too get into the league, owner CMVenomSES might have stumbled on a dimaond in the rough snagging the San Francisco 49ers. This has made many people happy, including many people on the San Francisco team, but this makes new Head Coach Allen Iverson most happy.

"God damn, fuck yes. I finally can pay off that bitches god damn child support. Bitch be texting me every night while im tryna fuck around wit my boys. When am I gonna get my money nigga? When you gonna pay me my money? How about you shut the fuck up you trick ass cunt. Yo ass gonna get paid, and my ass gonna get paid to since I'm going to be making bank as head coach.
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CMVenomSES
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PostSubject: Re: The Venom Enforcer   Thu Sep 12, 2013 11:06 am


Young CB, Morris Caliborne is in a pending trade to the San Francisco 49ers involving QB Colin Kaeparnick. Morris has had some stuff to say about this trade.

"My nigga. The Cowboys is fucking trash. I'm probably the only guy on the team that can catch, and nigga I don't even play offense. I'm ready to bolster this lame shit ass secondary with all these fuck niggas. I know Coach A.I. had Dre Kirkpatrick with Green Bay, but with me... Shit. I'm about to make him look like a pansy ass cunt dike bitch."
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CMVenomSES
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PostSubject: Re: The Venom Enforcer   Thu Sep 12, 2013 6:23 pm

The Official Depth Chart of the San Francisco 49ers as of 09-12-2013:

QB1 - Tyler Thigpen
QB2 - Colt McCoy
RB1 - Frank Gore
RB2 - Mike "Whats Good" Son
RB3 - Kendall Hunter
RB4 - Marcus Lattimore
FB1 - Erik Lorig
FB2 - Kendall Hunter
WR1 - Michael Crabtree
WR2 - Anquan Boldin
SLOT - Jon Baldwin
WR4 - Chris Harper
WR5 - Leonard Hankerson
TE1 - Vernon Davis
TE2 - Evan Rodriguez
LT - Joe Staley
LG - Mike Iupati
C - Johnathan Goodwin
RG - Alex Boone
RT - Anthony Davis
LE - Ray McDonald
RE - Justin Smith
DT1 - Glenn Dorsey
DT2 - Ian Williams
LOLB1 - Ahmad Brooks
LOLB2 - Corey Lemonier
MLB1 - Patrick Willis
MLB2 - Navarro Bowman
ROLB1 - Aldon Smith
ROLB2 - Corey Lemonier
CB1 - Morris Claiborne
CB2 - Chris Culliver
NB - DeAngelo Hall
CB4 - Carlos Rogers
CB5 - Eric Wright (Eazy E)
FS1 - Chris Clemons
FS2 - Eric Reid
SS1 - Donte Whitner
SS2 - Eric Reid
K - Billy Cuntiff
P - Andy Lee


Last edited by CMVenomSES on Wed Sep 18, 2013 10:52 am; edited 1 time in total
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PostSubject: Re: The Venom Enforcer   Fri Sep 13, 2013 10:41 am

Tyler Thigpen and Mike "Whats Good" Son, best friends in real life, have had some comments to say about teaming up for the first time since Madden 11.

"Man, I'm ready for this shit. I'm going to be tearing shit up just like I did in Green Bay. Shit. Me and Mike "Whats Good" Son teaming up for the first team since we were in Carolina in 2011? It's already over son. You can't have DB3 - Thigpen - Goodson on the same team. Shit, imagine if we get GREG JONES and DeMariyus Thomas or "Deez Nuts" Bryant... The 49ers would be doing the same thing Carolina did in 11... Win the Super Bowl." ~ Tyler Thigpen

"Whats Good? Shit, WE BACK. Turn up, because San Fransisco is Super Bowl bound. We may be 0-2 right now. But it's early my nigga. You can't put me and Thigpen on the same team and expect us to not be a contender. People always be like, "nah these niggas suck, they're 68 and 76 overall, Thigpen has no throwing power, Thigpen has no accuracy Goodson has no carrying, Goodson gets hurt alot, our team is too young. Then how we win in '11? How we win the Super Bowl between Thigpen - Goodson - JONES - Thomas - Bryant - Gresham?? Because, you put the right guys in with so much mother fuckin' chemistry and we gonna win a fucking Super Bowl. So everyone watch out, because it's already over for all ya'll fuck niggas." ~ Mike "Whats Good" Son.
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PostSubject: Re: The Venom Enforcer   Fri Sep 13, 2013 2:34 pm

It seems as if someone has already gotten into trouble with one of the coaching staff.

Wide Receiver, Jon Baldwin, the slot wide receiver for the San Francisco 49ers, caught a ball in practice and ran it for a touchdown. In the back of the end zone, he unknowingly ran into offensive coordinator, Manu Ginobili, and trunked him into the ground.

"Move out of the way, pussy!"

This comment angered Manu Ginobili, who rose back up onto his feet.

"You calling me pudding? You little bitch ass nigga. I don't like it when people call me pudding."
"What the fuck? I called you a pussy, not pudding."
"If you call me pudding one more time... I'll fuck you UP!"
"Do it bitchass. I dare you. PUDDING."

Once Baldwin said that, Ginobili lunged at him and started kicking his ass. Many of the coaching staff and players had to separate the two before any major damage was done to either Baldwin or Ginobili.

"Jon Baldwin is a little bitch ass nigga. I don't like it when people call me pudding..." Ginobili said in a press conference after practice. "I'll fuck him up!"
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PostSubject: Re: The Venom Enforcer   Mon Sep 16, 2013 2:20 pm

San Francisco's number one fan, Shitty As Fuck, whose real name is actually Shitty As Fuck got mean mugged by a bunch of gay homosexuals at a gay rally in the middle of downtown while he was at McDonald's buying a Big Mac. The conversation said to have gone down started like this.

"Hello, sir what may I get you today?"

"Shitty as Fuck."

"What?"

"Shitty as Fuck."

"I don't know what you are trying to say."

"Shitty..... As... FUCK!"

"We don't have that on the menu."

"SHITTY AS FUCK. SHITTY AS FUCK! SHITTY. AS. FUCK!!!" At this time, a bunch of queers drenched in baby oil show up."

"Hey baby girl, can you hurry up, we gonna order some McGangbangs."

"Shitty as fuck."

"What the hell did you just say sexy?"

"Shitty. As. FUCK!" After that, Shitty As Fuck got gang raped in the lobby at McDonald's. Crew members Cornelius "Bum Ass Nigga" Johnson and Desiree didn't know what to do and called 911. The police came in and started tazing people, even innocent bystanders. They went up to Shitty As Fuck.

"Son, how do you feel about getting raped?"

"Shitty As Fuck."

"Don't you dare fucking cuzz, bitch!"

"Shitty As Fuck."

"Cuzz one more time, and I'm gonna shoot your ass."

"SHITTY AS FUCK." The cop pulled out his gun and started shooting Shitty As Fuck until he died. The San Fransisco 49ers are mourning the death of Shitty As Fuck before their game against the Indianapolis Colts.
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PostSubject: Re: The Venom Enforcer   Mon Sep 16, 2013 2:24 pm

CMVenomSES wrote:
San Francisco's number one fan, Shitty As Fuck, whose real name is actually Shitty As Fuck got mean mugged by a bunch of gay homosexuals at a gay rally in the middle of downtown while he was at McDonald's buying a Big Mac. The conversation said to have gone down started like this.

"Hello, sir what may I get you today?"

"Shitty as Fuck."

"What?"

"Shitty as Fuck."

"I don't know what you are trying to say."

"Shitty..... As... FUCK!"

"We don't have that on the menu."

"SHITTY AS FUCK. SHITTY AS FUCK! SHITTY. AS. FUCK!!!" At this time, a bunch of queers drenched in baby oil show up."

"Hey baby girl, can you hurry up, we gonna order some McGangbangs."

"Shitty as fuck."

"What the hell did you just say sexy?"

"Shitty. As. FUCK!" After that, Shitty As Fuck got gang raped in the lobby at McDonald's. Crew members Cornelius "Bum Ass Nigga" Johnson and Desiree didn't know what to do and called 911. The police came in and started tazing people, even innocent bystanders. They went up to Shitty As Fuck.

"Son, how do you feel about getting raped?"

"Shitty As Fuck."

"Don't you dare fucking cuzz, bitch!"

"Shitty As Fuck."

"Cuzz one more time, and I'm gonna shoot your ass."

"SHITTY AS FUCK." The cop pulled out his gun and started shooting Shitty As Fuck until he died. The San Fransisco 49ers are mourning the death of Shitty As Fuck before their game against the Indianapolis Colts.
thats the funniest shit i read so far by you
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CMVenomSES
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PostSubject: Re: The Venom Enforcer   Wed Sep 18, 2013 10:46 am

It seems there has been an issue with 49ers running back, Marcus Lattimore.

During practice, it seems as though Marcus Lattimore, the rookie 4th round pick out of South Carolina. Started going around claiming he was going to be the Hokage and started rushing at people and hitting them in the chest as hard as he could, screaming at the top of his lungs, "RASENGAN!"

Coach Allen Iverson had this too say.

"It seems as though Marcus Lattimore has watched WAYYY to much damn Naruto. Like what the fuck. He actually thinks he is an anime character? Shit, if he runs like that with the football, we gonna be fucked like a hooker on a friday night."

Marcus Lattimore has had this too say.

Quote :
"My dream is to become the Hokage of the Hidden Leaf Village and to bring back Sasuke to the Hidden Leaf Village, I also to wish to become engaged with Sakura, when she stops being a useless bitch."
We told Marcus that there is no such thing as the Hidden Leaf Village and that it is a imaginary town on a anime show called Naruto.

"YOU LIE! I WAS JUST AT THE VILLAGE TO GET MY NEXT MISSION FROM THE HOKAGE. Lady Tsunade told me to become the starting running back for the San Fransisco 49ers."

Mike Goodson, the actual starting running back had this to say:

"I don't give a fuck what his imaginary hobag said, this nigga ain't taking my starting job. You know whats good, with MIKE "WHATS GOOD" SON! I am the best running back in the NFL. Like some bumass who went psycho over a cartoon show gonna take my job."

Quote :
This is how Marcus Lattimore imagined himself on the field.


Last edited by CMVenomSES on Wed Sep 18, 2013 11:07 am; edited 1 time in total
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PostSubject: Re: The Venom Enforcer   Wed Sep 18, 2013 11:03 am

This is not all to have come out of the 49ers camp.


It seems as though Manu Ginobili has gotten involved with yet another WR, this time Chris Harper. Chris Harper was thrown to by Tyler Thigpen and Harper had the ball in his hands, but was hit by Chris Clemons and dropped the ball. Ginobili ran out onto the field, expressing his frustation.

"What the hell, bitch? You're a wide receiver and can't catch? You fucking suck."
"Shut the fuck up, pussy. I don't see your old goofy ass on the football field."
"WHAT? Are you callin' me pudding? You little bitch ass nigga... I'LL FUCK YOU UP."
"Do it, pussy."
"Why do you keep callin' me pudding? I don't like it when people call me pudding..."
"I don't give a fuck bitch. I'll fuck you up, just like Andre Johnson did to Cortland Finnegan."
"Keep talkin' shit. I'LL FUCK YOU UP!"
"Do it, pussy. What you waiting on? Christmas? I'm here all day, BITCH ASS!"

Just then, it was broken up by Eazy E who came in and pointed his dual wield .9mm's at Ginobili and Harper.

"Deez muthafuckas ain't staright outta compton lik me. Deez lil' fuck niggas don't know dat Eazy Duz It. All deez lil' niggas ain't got nuthin' on the Eaze."

General Manager and Owner CMVenomSES has had this to say about his team's obnoxious and erratic behavior.

"I don't care. We still win football games. It's good that Ginobili threatened Chris Harper. The bum ass nigga is from K-State, not like he is going to catch a football if it's thrown at him anyways. In the case of Marcus Lattimore, I have a ton of faith in him to be a relevant player in our strategy. I mean, if he finds away to hold on to the ball while he is doing his "Rasengan" shit, than I am all for that. He'll truck people for 50 yards every time on his way to the end zone. And may I say rest in peace to our #1 fan of all-time... Shitty As Fuck."
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